Funny SMS
# Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
# Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
# Why are Egyptian Children always confused?
Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
# Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
# First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
# Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!
# Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ?
"Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
# A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
# At a party, someone yelled: All married guys plz stand next to one person who has made ur life worth living.
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
# Suraj ki pahli kiran aapko Khusi de... Dusri kiran hasi de... Teesri tandurasti... Chouthi kamyabi... Bas ab aur nahi garmi lagegi. Good Day.
# Ek shrabi sadhu se takra gaya. Sadhu: Oh murkh, mein tuje shrap deta hoon..
Sharabi: Ruko, me glass leke ata hoon.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHEIKDR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
# Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye.
# Ma: Beta ladoo Khayega?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Chocolate?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Khana?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Marjana apne peo te gaya hai, sirf jutiyan hi khayega.
# Gud afternoon. Aap g de sare pariwar nu sunday di lakh-lakh wadhahi hove. Parmatma kare aap g de jeevan de har hafte da satwan din Sunday hove. Happy Sunday.
# When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!
# It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
# Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It's not because you are cute but bcoz my mom told me that devils have tails and I'm just wondering where's yours?
# Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
# A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHEIKDR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.
# Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
# Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
# A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
# How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
# Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
# Telling a Lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.
# New Examination Patttern in India (Revised):
General Students: Answer All questions
OBC: Write Any One question
SC: Only read questions
ST: Thanks for coming.
Cheers to Reservation
# It's wrong that Alcohol makes u fat... It doesn't! It actually makes u LEAN... against bars, poles, walls, friends & strangers! Cheers!
# Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela beta dudh p k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
# Galileo used 2 study in smal lamp. Graham Bell used 2 study in candle light. Shakspeare used 2 study in street light. Mujhe ye samajh nahi aata ke yeh sab Din Mein Kya Karte the?
# Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
# How True.. .A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min, a beer shortens your life by 4 minutes, a working day shortens your life by 8 hours!
# True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a late night out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhi tak safai kar rahi ho?
# Well, they do say opposites attract... So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. Gud Day!
# Two frinds,who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
1st: Who are u working 4 now?
2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 children.
# Raamnavami aanewali hai, isiliye hum apna man kewal Pooja, Arcahna, Sadhna, Aarti mein lagaana chahtey hain. So... aapke pados mein in mein se koi ho to bataao.
# Mil Gaya, Oye Hoye Mil Gaya, Balle-Balle Mil Gaya, DHINCHAK DHINCHAK Mil Gaya, Apna Sara Kaam Chod Ke Fizool ka SMS Padnewala Ek aur..."BEWAKUF"Mil Gaya!
# A women's prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death!
# Dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment: Lock your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHEIKDR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friendship SMS
# To love without condition, to talk without intention, to give without reason and to care without expectation is the heart of a True Friend like U!
# I may not b the most important person in ur LIFE... But I just hope that One day when u hear my name u wud just SMILE & say: Hey that's my friend.
# Having a Crush is sweet; Falling in Luv is Exciting; Having a Heart break Shocks; But, having a Friend like U totally Rocks!
# Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest, who came first , or who cares the best... It's all about who came and never left.
# Nice people are the best part of our memories, that time can never erase and when l am blessed with people like you, my memories are always worth treasuring.
# Friends should be like zero's. When you add, they are the same. When u subtract, they are again the same but when u try to divide, they become INFINITY.
# Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be thankful that once, along my life's journey I had U in my heart.
# Friends are a promise made in the heart.. Silent.. Unwritten.. Unbreakable by distance... Unchangeable by time. It's lovely to have u as one!
# I droped a coin in d sea & prayed fot a smart & intelligent friend. Then God gifted U to me & said: Itne paise to mein aisa hi milega!
# Dreams are to be forgotten, reality to be lived, desires to be fulfilled, destiny to be reached, promises to be kept, relationship to be respected and friendship to be Treasured !
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHEIKDR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love SMS
# When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
# Don't say we aren't right for each other. The way I see it, we're not right for anybody else. Be My Valentine!
# Life is 4 livin- I live mine 4 u,
Loves's 4 givin- I give mine 2 u
Dreams r 4 dreamin- I dream of u
Hearts r 4 beatin- Mine beats 4 u.
# It's hard to find someone whom u truly love, much less to find someone who loves u as much. When the chance comes, don't ever let go.
# The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight I see the path of our love shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have sumone like U! Luv You!
# Dreaming of u makes my night worthwhile, thinking of u just makes me smile, being with u is the best thing ever & loving u is what I'll do forever.
# I m feeling so happy, do u know why?
Coz I'm so lucky, do u know how?
Coz God luvs me. Do u know how?
Coz he gave me a gift. Do u know what?
It's U my love.
# To hear what is unspoken, to see what is invisible, to feel without without even touching... is the miracle called Love.
# People fall in luv not knowing why or how. It's so special a feeling that it doesn't require much answers. U just luv no matter how stupid u become.
# I knew I loved you when I realized that there was no one else I would rather laugh, cry and make memories with. Luv U!
# No poems, no fancy words, I just want the world to know that I LUV U my Princess with all my heart. Happy Valentine's Day!
# On Valentine's Day, I'm thinking about the special ways u have made my life better. The little things, the not-so-little things.. Ur kindness, the way U always listen & pay attention to me. U make my world brighter n richer. U're a gift to me, & I thank U for being U.
# If you were my valentine
I'd search the endless skies
to find the perfect starlight
that would compliment your eyes
and keep it in a wishing well
created just for you
and filled with my desires
to make all your dreams come true.
# What do you give a lady so sweet who makes my existence so complete? Should She get a Long-stemmed Rose? Perhaps some very heartfelt pros? A store-bought card with another's word? Anything that's purchased seems absurd. I would give you the World if it were mine, For now, take my heart, and be My Valentine.
# I finally got my past, present and future tenses correct today. I loved you. I love you. I will love you forever. Happy Valentine day!
# I've notice that being with you, I smile a little more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter, and life is so much sweeter. Luv U.
# A bell is not a bell until someone rings it, a song is not a song until someone sings it. Luv wasn't put in the heart to stay, for luv isn't luve 'til you give it away.
# Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
# Everyone says you only fall in love once but that's wrong, everytime I see your smile I fall in love all over again. Luv You!
# I miss u when something really gud happens, coz u're the one I want to share it with. I miss u when something is troubling me, coz u're the only one who understands me. I miss u when I laugh and cry, coz I know that u're the one who makes my laughter grow & my tears dissapear.
# I still believe that love is all you need- Paul Mccartney
# True luv is eternal... Cherish the luv when u've got the chance, for once it leaves U, it would be difficult to get it back.. Don't let luv be only a memory in U.
# So many ways to say 'I Love You', but not enough words in the world to say how much I Love U.
# To share what is difficult; to heal what is hurting; to think what is not possible; to understand without even talking is the miracle called Love.
# Aashiq Puche Rab nu: Tu Jag nu Pyaar Da Dushman Kyu Bana Ditta ?
Rab Hasaya te Bolya: Tusi Kehra Mere Naal Changi Kittim Tusi Vi ta Yaar nu he Rab Bana Ditta.
# Difficult to tell what loving is like; Impossible to tell what missing is like; May you never miss whom you luv & may whom you luv miss you always.
# Have a cigar daily - U'ill die 10 yrs early.
Have drinks daily - U'll die 30 yrs early.
Luv someone truly - U'll die daily.
# Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.
# Your smile is my sunrise, your kiss is my sunset. Thank you for being the most wonderful friend and companion.
# Your smile is my sunrise, your kiss is my sunset. Thank you for being the most wonderful friend and companion. I Luv U!
